Lay in bed, pain reverberating through my legs, I suddenly realise my life is like chasing a train. I feel like I’m always so close to grabbing hold on jumping on but never quite able to make it. Something always gets in my way just as I’m about to pull my self on and take a breath.
As you know, if you read my posts regularly, I am a full time teacher working within the SEN sector and I have a chronic pain condition called fibromyalgia. Being a teacher is hard work anyway but having a condition that makes you constantly fatigued and in pain adds to the workload and makes life just that little bit harder. In September I made a vow I would try to find a work life balance and manage my condition better and to some extent that happened during the first few weeks. I was working longer days during the week and trying to relax and recuperate at weekends but then work began to mount, little jobs came up, pain levels began to grow and I am back to working all weekend and going to bed at 7pm on a weekday.
Currently I am getting over a flu/cold/virus thing that I have had for a couple of weeks and now I feel better the fibro monster has decided it is her turn to come and play. My whole body hurts, I’m ridiculously tired and I don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of today let alone work. But I can manage my flare without having time off, I often find working through small flares mean I don’t go into a major flare. If I stop, I stop and this can be fatal for me. I know it is t good to work through a flare but we all do it. I have completed as much work as I can so that I can get plenty of rest in the evenings next week.
I can’t afford to be sick now, my weekends are busy running up to Christmas and I am super excited to be going to see The 1975 just before Christmas. How do you all pace yourselves over Christmas?
P.S keep an eye on my social media as I am planning to do 30 days of gratitude to get me though this busy, stressful, painful but exciting time of year!